Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The NG Questionnaire

I can see your belly.
Having enjoying Thantsants More Omphalic Inspection post over at the mighty Somewhere the tea's Getting Cold, I thought I'd have a go at the list of questions that's doing the rounds in blogtown at the moment. Also, talking about myself is one of my favourite things to do. Prepare yourself for things you most likely have zero interest in.

So, behold the Saturday. Frankly, this is the thing that piqued my interest in the first place, getting to see what these blogger folks actually look like, and trying to reconcile your half-considered mental image with reality. I'm the hatless one.

I offer no background to this photo. Make up a fun story!
Q1. Favourite wargaming period and why?
Er. This smells of historical. While I do read Wargames Illustrated, and have regular daydreams about painting Vikings, (That came out wrong. Or did it?) I'm more a fantasy man. I guess if I was to take the plunge it'd be Dark Ages.

Q2. Next period, money no object?
Without a doubt alternative WW1 America. Oh, with Martians. I am still giddy with excitement about the upcoming All Quiet on the Martian Front. I went a bit mad during the kickstarter and now have a rather large shipment due around Christmas. Joy.

Q3. Favourite 5 films?
Crikey. Ahm... okay. In no particular order. And subject to daily change.
Evil Dead 2
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Withnail & I
The Dark Crystal
Spirited Away

Q4. Favourite 5 TV series?
Walking Dead
Ulysses 31
Red Dwarf
The Mighty Boosh

Q5. Favourite book and author?
An impossible question. Tolkien, Terry Pratchett, Ian Banks, Neal Stephenson, George R Martin, Tad Williams, Bernard Cornwell, Michael Moorcock, the list goes on. I do have a special affection for Robert Holdstock's Mythago Wood. Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson had quite an affect no me too, I must admit!

Q6. Greatest general? Excluding oneself!
Surely it must be Genghis Khan. The only reason he didn't take over the world is because he died. Okay, his army was pretty great, and he was utterly ruthless, but still, a great general.

Q7. Favourite wargames rules?
Warhammer 3rd ed and Rogue Trader.

Q8. Favourite sport and team?
My Bloodbowl team, the Drakenhof Deadskins. What? It's a sports team. Just not a real one.

Q9. If you had a one use only time machine, when and where would you go?
Back to get last weeks euro lotto numbers. Yes, I am that shallow. Look, it's a one use time machine, so there's no point going back to witness the battle of Waterloo or the glory of Rome, is there? It'd be great for a day or two, then you're stuck there with no internet.

Q10. Last meal on Death Row?
A delicious skeleton key cake served with a pardon from the governor.

Q11. Fantasy relationship and why?
Um. There's a big remit here. Like, fantasy as in a real yet unattainable person, or an insatiable daeomonette with a crush on you and six breasts? I know who'd I'd pick...

Q12. If your life were a movie, who would play you?
Adrian Edmondson.

Q13. Favourite comic superhero?
It's a dead heat between Nemesis, Judge Dredd, Rogue Trooper and Johnny Alpha.

Q14. Favourite military quote?
"Never do an enemy a small injury." - Machiavelli

Q16. Biggest wargaming regret?
Not playing more of them.

Q17. Favourite fantasy job?
Professional (insanely highly paid) dark ages/medieval re-enactor.

Q18. Favourite 5 songs?
Get lost. My favourite five songs now will be different to an hour from now. But:
Tom Waits - Singapore
Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
Mein Herz Brennt - Rammstein
The Theme From Harry's Game - Clannad

Q.19 Favourite wargaming moment?
When a mate of mine went purple and had to lie down after losing 30+ dwarves to a desperate purple sun from my vampire lord, then lost his general seconds later as my wight king beheaded him with a lucky killing blow. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. It even gives me a chuckle now.

Q20. The miserable git question, what upsets you?
Lack of empathy and poor manners. Among other things.

There we have it! If you've made it this far, then well done, well done indeed.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Excellent stuff!

      The story I made up for your photo revolves around a successful grave robbery and the sale of a particularly fine corpse to a medical establishment. Ale all round! :)

      You're right, the questionnaire did start life a year or so ago back in historical blogging circles. Maybe it's time to tweak then a bit for fantasists?

    2. Close... there was a body involved.

      Yep, a fantasy version might be the very thing.

  2. Were you at a Fagin convention?

    Either that or you folk in the Emerald Isle perhaps mark your progress through manhood with ever increasing facial hair and more impressive hats? ;)

    It seems great minds think alike on various cultural matters - great choices! Must admit Dark Crystal and Red Dwarf nearly made my list too. Might have to check Mythago Wood out though.

    1. Hats and facial hair to feature prominently. Here you can see us in the very latest Irish male fashions.

      Mythago Wood is pretty great. I almost chose the Anubis Gates by Tim Powers, also well worth a read. It's part of the fantasy masterpieces series now.

      (It took three attempts to get this reply to make coherent sense. So that's the kind of day this is going to be...)

    2. Yep - know that feeling!

      I'll add Anubis Gates to the list - not read much fantasy recently other than Robert E Howard and a bit of Livingstone and Jackson.

  3. What on earth is a "desperate purple sun"?!

    1. A magical spell of some risk to the caster, but if successful creates a whirling cascade of purple destruction. Those too slow to avoid it are turned to crystal, and as we know, dwarves are not the lightest on their feet.


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